I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
