I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
barbara walters just said penis...
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I feel like a drive thru vagina
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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