i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
