I'm sorry my penis didn't work
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
