Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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