This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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