brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
now i know why i became what i already was.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
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