mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
