Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize