i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
