Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
