Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Randomize