I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
