New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
