singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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