fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
