All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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