Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
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