I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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