Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
