do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
