We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
