I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
