the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Randomize
