dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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