You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
