The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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