I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize