just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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