My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
