Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Randomize
