mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Randomize
