naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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