and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
well, you know. whores of a feather.
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