whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
