A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
