She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
