New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
