I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Randomize
