I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
