Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
