he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
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