i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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