just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
