Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
smell my finger.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
