all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Randomize
