what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Randomize
