I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize