a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
