Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
tell me about the eggs
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
