I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Everyone says I win the strip club
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
