I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize
