She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
So I just went to clothing optional bar
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize