I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
vagina is talking i cant
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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