I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
