How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
