pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
