I'm eating all of the evidence.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Randomize
